5. “Mutual” Friends... Let your REAL Friends Show up
* EXCERPT from Scarlett's pocketbook "Eight Best Reactions to Shift Out of a Messy Divorce”
Mutual friends and even family may be aloof about the separation, NOT acting as they might EXPECT you to behave if the situation were REVERSED. Their ambivalence may feel like abandonment, triggering you to rehash your devastation to get them “on your side”. You DO NOT need these kind of friends. Quality over quantity, inauthentic dolts need not apply. Detached from the supercilious frauds, leaving them behind is not a loss. Moving through it means shaking the junk out and appreciating the gems in your life.
Scarlett has a “Stand for something, or fall for anything” policy.
What might REALLY be occurring is this: It’s possible these folks do NOT want to hear the story of his transgressions for reasons that have NOTHING to do with you. Nervous neutrality occurs for many reasons: Some personalities chronically avoid conflict, others have shared addictions or codependency, and/or possibility had prior knowledge of his affair. Moreover, duplicity, infidelity, or divorce may be too close to THEIR biggest relationship fear. Most importantly: you rehashing this crummy history keeps it YOUR current life story!
Stand by and make welcome the many Heroes that are about to present themselves to you!